Erotic VS Soft Porn

Recently many people I know, mostly men, have been inquiring about exactly what it is I write. I explain it to them very simply. I write paranormal, contemporary and thriller romance stories. It seems simple enough to me, and when I tell women this, they get it. But, here's the difference between men and women. Women know what romance involves, a serious plot, two main characters (male and female) an antagonist and of course, some hot, sweaty, down and dirty romance. Yes, SEX! Very simple.

Well, its come to my attention that men see this a different way. They hear romance, or the word erotic and their minds directly divert to "soft porn". They don't seem to realize that between page one and oh, let's say page three-hundred, there is a story. An actual story and mixed in is some conflict between the main characters and yes, sexual tension as well. Building that sexual tension is key. Having two people get down and dirty together that have just met, well, okay, you could maybe, a little bit see that as soft porn. But, that isn't what I call romance.

Nay, nay. Romance takes a relationship, getting to know one another and hell, surviving a lunatic that has his sights set on one of them. Two people who never met can be thrown together in the midst of crisis, fight, hate and then learn about each other and end up in the horizontal, boot knocking position, but it takes events and a real imagination grabbing story to get them there. This is my definition of romance.

A friend of mine recently told me he described my books to another friend of his as soft porn. I shrug it off because, well, they're men. Yes, the male mind deciphers things differently than a woman's. Fact of life, suck it and deal with it. The funny part about it is, using the term soft porn seems to generate more interest for them than romance. Go figure. If it results in sales, they can call it anything they like. And, if they enjoy it, YIPEE! A win - win for me.

And that's where my hypocritical side comes in. If a woman describes my book as porn, I take offense. Mostly because they haven't read any of my books yet. They see erotic or romance mixed in and without turning one page or reading one word they have labeled it as something dirty and disgusting. Women should know better. Am I right? I mean, come on. As mothers we teach our kids not to judge something before we find out for ourselves what it is, is it harmful or are people jealous therefor talking smack.

My opinion, women who berate and slam something either are hiding their closet love of erotic romance novels, or have been taught that their bodies are dirty and sinful. If that's the case, I feel for them because they are missing out on a great gift given the human race. Sorry, didn't mean to go on a rant there.

In short, words mean different things to the different genders. Yes, I have had men read some of my books and they don't seem to get hung up on the sex scenes, they devour the action in it. It it takes using the word "porn" to get them to open the book, so be it. If the books good enough, they quickly realize there isn't as much sex in it as they thought and get lost in the actual story.

That's my take on the two different definitions of what I write.
What's yours?